Blogging . . .

When we first began blogging for this program, I was quite intimidated.  I was fairly certain that even within the cohort there would be only a few who would read my musings.  Likely, each person would read and respond to only the required number of blogs and then move on to their next reading, reflection, lesson plan or assignment.  Admittedly, I was tempted to use this approach.  I was certainly interested in what my classmates had to say, but like everyone else in the cohort, I felt pressed for time and needed to quickly move on to my next priority.

During the Fall Quarter, I found myself starting to think of how I would compose my Blog when I would have an experience in a classroom that I really wanted to share with the cohort.  This was quite a change from the initial, "hmmm, what should I write about this week?"  Those blogs where I felt truly inspired seemed to draw the most comments.  Coincidence?

I read several of my cohorts posts and did not simply post a response to the first two I read.  I kept reading and waited until I felt that I had something worthwhile to add to the conversation.  Throughout this process I have realized that despite the fact that we are a somewhat diverse group of people, we all have one very strong common interest.  We all have different perspectives that are worth exploring.  Every comment posted to my blogs has made me think a bit more about what I posted.  That seems like success.

When I have read commercial blogs for our curating assignment and just for my own personal interest, I have noticed that sometimes the most interesting, although not necessarily the most educational parts, are the comments.  I am fairly conservative.  I am not trying to spark a debate or write a provocative piece that will have everyone chiming in with their experiences.  However, I do feel some level of validation when I see a comment "awaiting moderation."

I certainly hope that I continue to grow in my Blogging experience.  I find that writing is so helpful for helping me to think about what I think.  Putting the words down "on paper" and reading them aloud, as if I am reading them to my classmates, makes me think more carefully about what I want to say.  Often, while editing, I realize that there was much more to the experience than I had originally thought.  The process of determining how I want to convey it to my audience gives me the chance to, dare I say it, reflect.

CURATING

EVERNOTE NOTEBOOK - Struggling Readers (k-3)

The information in this notebook was curated by Nikka, Molly, and Alicia.  If you should peruse it and find anything interesting, please let us know.  Also, please feel free to suggest additional links to ideas to help Struggling Readers in Primary Grades.

Thank you.

Treasure!!!

Earlier this week I was doing some procrastination cleaning at about 5:47 am.  This is the time that I typically reserve for myself.  My brain works best right after I've had adequate sleep (not good, I'm in a graduate teaching program, I don't foresee good sleep until mid-June).  I can have a quiet cafe au lait and catch up on textbook reading before my three darling girls drag themselves out of bed and start placing their breakfast orders (and suddenly remembering another piece of homework they need help with right now because it is due today). 

I justify my procrastination cleaning by telling myself that it will actually help me to get my homework done.  I will have less to think about.  I get distracted by clutter.  I like everything to have a place, and for the most part I want everything in that place.  I've relaxed a bit.  I now enjoy having the LEGOS out and on display.  If the books and games are always put away, that means no one is using them. 

I was busy straightening up children's literary magazines, coloring books, art supplies, and many partially completed art projects.  The book/art shelf was beginning to look fairly tidy.  I reached for one of the books that had a torn cover not sure why I was pulling it off the shelf.  It was a collection of children's stories.  Stories that my mom used to read to me when I was a child.  There next to where the battered book had just been was Harriet the Spy.  It suddenly dawned on me.  I was staring at all of the books that I didn't remember.  Well, I remember some of the stories, but I don't have a clear recollection of how they got into my head.  I wrote my literacy vignette last week on how my mom had developed my love for reading with her great expression and amazing character voices.  I had very specific memories of certain books, big, important books.  Some so important that I don't feel that I can read them aloud, because I will never be able to read them quite the way my mom did/does.  But here, right in front of me, was a treasure trove of books that I am certain mom read when I was little.  I have a whole long shelf of beat up, well-loved books that are full of stories that my girls and I can enjoy together (and then probably not remember).

word by word

I had something of a revelation today.  I was reading Anne Lamott's bird by bird and absolutely loving what a fabulously entertaining book it was.  I took comfort in the idea that I was not alone.  I experience this gripping terror whenever I need to begin a writing assignment.  I can never understand why.  I love it once I get started, even if no one else will ever read it.  The practice of simply putting my thoughts down on "paper" helps me to clarify exactly what I am thinking.  So, why do I find everything else that I can possibly do before I sit down to begin?  I don't actually have a particular affinity for folding 11-15 loads of laundry at once or spending hours with shampoos, sheers, and scissors grooming my dog.  But, I'll busy myself doing these things, justifying to myself that they are really important and need to be done, RIGHT NOW.  I wait until the very last hour, when the deadline for my assignment is looming and I am starting to panic.  Then I sit down at my computer.  The first thing I do is open Facebook and go to my Secret Group.  My sisters and my two adult nieces are then bombarded with words.  Lots and lots of them.  I recently recognized this procrastination and have just realized that it is part of my routine.  Somehow, after writing a ridiculously long paragraph and posting it to my audience of 4, I am able to start working on my assignment.  The revelation?  That Facebook post is my warm-up.  It is that exercise of simply getting some words down.  I write, read, revise, re-read, revise, write more, revise and then post.  I feel sorry for these kind ladies, so I try to write with a bit of humor and amidst my complaining and procrastinating, I try to point out some bright spots.  And that is how it starts. 

Now, if I could figure out how it ends.  My dog just came by my office and informed me with her insistent whining that she needed to be let out.  I get up, she begins to run for the stairs, she quickly comes running back to make sure that I'm still with her.  I am.  She bounds up 12 of the 14 stairs and then stops, frozen.  She is crouched down and absolutely certain that she will fall to her doom if she attempts those last two steps.  There is nothing different about them.  They are just the last two that she needs to climb before she can make her way to freedom.  But, she is stuck.  I cajole her, tell her she's a good dog, I try to entice her up the last steps with a bribe, but, nothing.  I give in, pick her up and place her gently at the top of the stairs.  She then scampers off toward the door as if the terrifying event had never happened.  I think the end of my writing assignments are those last two stairs for me.  I haven't figured out yet what is going to come along and effortlessly carry me those last couple steps to my destination.

Speedwalking and Speedtalking

There are regularly scheduled grade level meetings where the teachers look at long and short term plans for how they would like to move forward with each of the different lessons.  They do not plan to teach every lesson at exactly the same time or in exactly the same way.  But, they do try to stay within at least one day of each other, particularly in math.  They do, after all, move all 105 of their students into appropriate math groups to provide additional support or enrichment based on scores from the previous math unit's test.  If the teachers don't keep up with one another, the students will be left behind. 

The scheduled meetings aren't where the real actions takes place.  Once a plan is in place, there are dozens upon dozens of quick meetings in the hallway, in someone's classroom, in the lunchroom, in the copy room, or wherever the teachers can find two minutes to have a very quick, no nonsense conversation.  They are frequently touching base to talk about which lessons have been finished, what worked, what didn't, what questions arose, and what suggestions they have to share. 

None of the teachers are working solely as individuals behind closed doors in their classroom.  They are all one big team, looking out for each other, trying to ensure each others success and the success of the students.  Time is precious and everyone knows it.  There are constantly teachers popping into another classroom offering to run something to the office "because I'm headed there anyway" or checking to see if someone needs copies of a literacy packet, math test, or newsletter.  It is a smooth running machine and everyone is supporting everyone else.  I'm trying to keep my eyes and ears wide open to figure out what exactly is making it work and hoping to take some of that magic with me.

The other side of the table

This week I had the opportunity to sit in on several parent-teacher conferences.  I started the week with my own children's conferences and then the next day moved to the other side of the table.  As a parent, I am still conscious of the effect that sitting across from the teacher has on me.  I have always needed their acceptance, both as a student and as a parent.  I have to imagine that I am not the only one who is under this powerful spell.

It was so valuable to have conversations with my mentors about how vital these parent conversations are to them.  It is apparent that they want to be as prepared as possible for these important meetings.  I had not considered the number of extra hours the teachers put in at home and in the classroom to prepare for each conference.  They do not just grab whatever evidence is convenient.  They have been collecting it since the first day.  They are careful about what they choose as an example of the progress that each student has made. One of my mentors sends home a weekly report of the students work in class, their behavior in class, and the homework that has been returned.  This weekly report is meant to be delivered to the parent, signed, and returned to the classroom.  It is a powerful tool.  The parents are not taken by surprise when they come to their conference, they've seen the reports every week since the beginning of school.  The teacher shows them examples of the type of work that is completed in class each week and gives them an example of the daily and weekly schedule so that they have no questions about what is expected of their child during the school day.  This weekly report also gives the teacher a great starting point for a discussion on schoolwork routines at home.  4th grade is a pivotal year for homework.  The students are now exploring new ideas at home and performing research.  They are no longer simply reviewing concepts that were already covered in class.  They are extending their knowledge.  The teacher emphasizes how important it is to develop strong study habits THIS year as the homework will only continue to be more challenging as they move closer to middle school.  The teacher is working hard to set the student and their family on a course for success.

The teacher thinks so carefully about the conversation they will have with each family.  Some topics that they need to talk about are very sensitive.  They take a careful approach.  They emphasize to the parents that this is a relationship where we are all working together.  And they really mean it.  They are doing their best to be a really strong part of the team. The teachers also take this opportunity to listen to the families.  The more they know about their student, the better they will understand how to approach their education. 

After having this experience, I wonder how I will feel next year when I am on the parent side of the table again.  I will have a better understanding of how much the teacher has invested in the conversation.  I will know that they are incredibly interested in the future of my children and they are feeling just a bit nervous about the impression that they will make on me.

Reliably Enforced Consequences

I did my blog post today already, but I just felt I needed to write this down somewhere.  I should probably be adding it to my calendar as a monthly reminder that never ends.  In Chapter 9 of Cooperative Discipline, there is a section on setting consequences.  I thought it went hand in hand with the Linsin reading, Holding Students Accountable.  I could see myself being swayed by all 5 tactics that were mentioned in the Reliably Enforced Consequences section.  I want my students to be happy.  I want them to be learning.  I want them to feel safe and capable.  I will have to remind myself that part of that is not letting myself be manipulated into forgoing the stated consequences for their behavior.  I just know that I have fallen for the the "I'm Sorry" and "Invoking Guilty" tactics before.  I have to remember that part of what the students need to learn is responsibility for their own actions.  If I fail to follow through, I am doing a disservice to them.

SCRATCH!

a Topsy Turvy Scratch project

For what it's worth, I tried to stay true to the assignment and only spent the 20-30 minutes that Carrie recommended.  I could see getting carried away with this and playing on it for hours.  I will be introducing my children to Scratch this evening.  They will have ample opportunity to make their own programs during this upcoming conference week.

Seeing success . . . in real life

We have been reading about and discussing how detrimental a deficit approach is in teaching.  I've been inspired by all of the readings and have felt as though I have really been invested in seeing my student's strengths.  I was really struck by Linsin's words "Whenever you let negative thoughts about students take root in your mind, you'll subconsciously act differently toward them, and they'll know it."  I  took those words to heart and have made it (one of my many) mission(s) to see behavior as a form of communication, to look deeper and find out what is really going on with my students.  But, it seems that the idea of seeing their strengths has not completely sunk in yet.

This past week when were performing the math assessment with our first graders, I was carefully documenting what I was seeing.  I was trying to capture all of the good math thinking and strategies that my math buddy was using.  I took lots of notes and looked forward to reviewing the video of the interaction to be sure that I gave my buddy full credit for all of his great ideas.  When we returned to the classroom, Allison reminded us how important it was for us to document what the student could do, not what the student couldn't do.  At that moment, I realized that when we got to a portion of the assessment where my buddy did not come up with the "right" answer, I had seen what he couldn't do.  I looked again at his work, and ran through our conversations in my head and realized that I had missed some really important successes in my notes.  Had I not been reminded to look at what my buddy could do, I simply would have written "does not understand multiplication."  He may not have shown me three groups of 5 and answered "15."  But, he did show me another example of repeated addition.  He used 3 blocks to show me the tables.  He pulled over 5 more blocks to show me the children and said that there were 8 block altogether.  He then said "If you turn the tables into children, there would be 8 children.  If 4 more joined, there would be 12."  I know that as soon as he began the problem with the 5 crackers, I thought "he doesn't understand how to do division."  I did not stop paying attention.  I watched and listened as he grouped the unifix cubes, but I know that as it was happening, I was not grasping the importance of what he WAS DOING.  I was only seeing what he wasn't doing.  He had displayed important concepts that I think I would have completely missed if Allison hadn't said those words so soon after the experience.

What a powerful tool to be able to see those building blocks and be equipped with good questions.  If you acknowledge all the great things the students are doing and ask them about their thinking, I'll bet they will lead themselves right to the next step.

Your thoughts are showing

If the readings hadn't been assigned weeks in advance, I would have thought that Dr. Eisele gave us "See The Best in Your Students" this week due to some of the conversations that we were just having in class.  We are all fresh and new and inspired by all of the learning we are doing in the UW classrooms and in our placements.  We want the best for every single student.  We are appalled and hurt when we hear negative comments about any student.  We reassure each other and we remind one another that "every behavior is an attempt to communicate."  We don't assume that a child is acting out just for the sake of acting out.  We truly do want to see the best in our students.

We struggle when we hear a student described as low.  We've been taught that there are multiple intelligences.  If a student struggles in one area, that doesn't mean they will struggle in all of them.  We must recognize their strengths and build on them.  It will be much easier to build on these strengths if we walk into our classrooms energized and happy to see every single one of the students there.  This chapter reminded me that I used to ask my colleagues to smile before they answered the phone.  It sounds a bit corny, but it works.  The customer can hear that smile (or frown) in your voice.  Our students are right there in front of us, there is no hiding our feelings from them.  And, somehow when they are young, the seem to have a heightened sense of our feelings (ESF?)

If we can't always completely escape negativity, we can take a deep breath, smile, and be the positive impact in our students lives.

What are the long-term costs of learning English?

When we began this program in Spring Quarter, I worked with a group exploring the best ways to help English Language Learners.  Based on what we learned, I felt very strongly that it was much better to use a bi-lingual approach.  I assumed that the earlier the student started, the better.  It would be so much easier to learn English when they were still forming their language skills.  I did not realize the variety or intensity of the impacts that learning English too soon would have on a young student.  

Near the beginning of the Fillmore article I wrote the following in the margin “can’t we retain the funding and the early education programs but make them bi-lingual?”  I was referring to the head start programs that had been made available to language-minority children.  My comment is now amended with a highlighted arrow and a note that says “see p. 333.”  That is the beginning of where I began to read about the effects of learning English too soon.  I had not considered that children would feel that speaking English had so much social currency that they would simply give up their home language.  I did place a tremendous amount of importance on maintaining the home language as a part of their identity.  I did not think about how important it would be for maintaining relationships in their family.  I was heartbroken by the thought of a 2^nd grader coming home and no longer being able to have a meaningful conversation with their parents.  I spend so much time trying to choose my words carefully when I speak to my own children about social and personal issues.  I cannot imagine how devastating it would be to not have the language skills to discuss my own values, thoughts, and ideas with them.

Often in this program, my eyes are opened to the unintentional and damaging effects of a program developed to be helpful by a well-meaning, but uninformed group.  Are we simply too ego-centric?  How do we educate ourselves to understand the far-reaching effects of the decisions that we make?  How do we climb outside of our own “knapsack?”

Confirmation

I returned to my primary placement on Friday.  It was a ridiculously busy day, but I was already missing my 2nd graders and I really do not want to lose touch with them for two full months.  I arrived when the children were in the library so that I could have a few minutes to catch up with my Cooperating Teacher.  He updated me with some of the highlights of the week, two visits from the Assistant Superintendent, continuing struggles with overloaded classrooms, and concerning new behaviors displayed by a couple of the students.  Just a few more items to be added to the teetering stack of issues to balance when trying to help shape the futures of these wonderful young people.

A few minutes later we headed over to the library to retrieve the children.  They had not been told that I would be coming to visit today.  I was going to say "You can't imagine how my heart felt when I saw their faces" but considering the audience, you probably know exactly how I was feeling.  I could see on their faces that they were truly excited to have me back at school, nearly as excited as I was to see them.  I wished that I could take the time to sit down with each and every one of them and catch up on what had happened in their lives in the past week.  Small things stood out, several of them had new haircuts, one was celebrating her birthday.  What luck that I would come back on the only day of October when we had a student birthday.

We distributed laptops for the first time this school year.  It was a wonderful learning experience for all of us.  The best lesson for me was to step back and watch.  The kiddos can and should be able to troubleshoot most of the problems on their own.  I was impressed!  It seemed that about 5 minutes had elapsed since I arrived, and then it was time to escort them to lunch.  I did not want to leave.  This is it, this is definitely the place for me.

My Plate

Although I felt that I was fairly health conscious, keeping the Food Journal  caused me think every time I made a decision about what to eat.  Often, I made a better choice knowing that I would be logging that food into a journal.  Despite the fact that the only one holding me accountable was me, I still made the effort.  Logging all of my fitness activity made me realize how often I decide that something else is more important and put the exercise off until “tomorrow”.  I made exercise more of a priority when I started tracking it (and the calories burned) into my log.  I know that my children really admire their teachers and love to have something in common with them outside of school.  When they discovered that two of their teachers were runners, they were even more enthusiastic about completing their first 5k.  I may follow the example of one of the teachers and keep a collection of race bibs at school.  At the very least I will share my participation in different fitness activities with my students.  It also might be useful to keep a color coded food journal with me so that I can share with my students how I track not only what I eat, but whether or not I am eating balanced meals through the day.  I’m certain that there are MyPlate resources available for use in schools.  I could use them in the classroom to help the students have at least a basic understanding regarding balanced meals, even if their balance looks different from the balance on the .gov Plate.  It might be beneficial to address that recommended diets are usually a reflection of the dominant culture.  Reading a book like “Everybody Cooks Rice” might be a nice way to look at all of the different cultures represented by all the dinners in a single neighborhood.  If the students were to keep their own journals, we could track how many servings of fruits, vegetables, grains, etc. they consume in a day and perform some single digit addition for K-1.  If the students were not comfortable sharing their own diets, we could count the calories in a story book, maybe “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.”  For older students, we might include some calorie information for different foods.  We could review how much exercise would be required to burn the calories from a list of different foods (e.g. how many minutes of running for one carrot, one slice of bread, one apple, one donut, one corndog).  They could set their own nutrition and/or fitness goals and keep a journal of their progress.  They could write about the goal they chose and why it is important to them.  They could track their progress and write a few sentences about how they are feeling about reaching their goals and if they are noticing any changes in themselves.  We could have them track their pulse rates before and after recess as a lead in to a section on heart & lung function.  With the cooperation of the PE teacher we could track pulse rates after specific activities and compare which made our hearts beat faster. 

When I have a specific goal, I prioritize the exercise/training required to complete the goal.  When I turned 40, I decided that by my next birthday I was going to 1) run a 10k, 2) be competitive in Advanced Black Belt Hyung competition, and 3) get back to my pre-baby weight.  I worked hard on training for the first two and as a result, the third happened automatically.  When I reached my goals I was inspired to set a new one.  That next year I completed a half-marathon with my mom.    I did not set another fitness goal until this year.  I have set a very short-term fitness goal for myself, the 6-week fitness challenge on EA Active Sports, but intend to find another 10k to run in the Fall so that I feel committed to running again.  I am only a week into the 6-week challenge, but I haven’t missed a workout yet.  What I can do for my students is model commitment to my health and set challenging but achievable goals.  I hope that I can help them to do the same.

So, how's school going?

I love it!  It's really challenging.  It's great.  I'm overwhelmed.  I have felt that every moment of instruction has been a true learning experience, no time has been wasted.  I have felt tremendous guilt every time I've said "I'm sorry sweetheart, Mommy doesn't have time for that right now, I have homework."  I am truly enjoying this program and this cohort full of wonderful, supportive personalities.  I am really missing time to just be with my children.  I'm ready to do something with them spontaneously, not carefully planning an activity where the kids will have fun but I can squeeze in some homework.

The lack of time to complete my regular house chores has been a blessing?  Well, I'm not really enjoying the enormous piles of unfolded clean laundry on all available couch or daybed surface downstairs.  I am a little weary of trying to find something to wear by looking through numerous stacks of clean, folded laundry around the bathtub that are threatening to topple over if someone walks by too fast.  But, I did enjoy finding out that my children are capable of working together as a team and thoroughly cleaning the kitchen, for the right price.  If you are a Facebook friend of mine, you will be able to track each time the girls clean the kitchen by my check-ins at Canarino Gelato.  Also, we discovered that the girls are capable of cooking an entire meal almost completely on their own.  And, they enjoy it!!!  In my desperation to both get healthy food on the table and finish the required reading one evening, I put Angela in charge of cooking the Turkey Chili & Rice, Danielle in charge of the Salad, and Maria in charge of the roasted chicken.  It was delicious and my girls were so proud of what they had accomplished.  On another night we gained a new recipe.  We discovered that we did not quite have all of the ingredients for two of the things we wanted to make; a pasta salad and a tuna pasta.  I asked Maria if she thought we should just use the ingredients we did have to make a new kind of pasta salad.  She was very excited about the idea.  I let her run with it.  I made a few suggestions here and there, but really let her lead the way.  She was one proud 6 year old when her Daddy said "I am naming this Maria's Yummy Yummy Tuna Pasta Salad."  And, indeed that is what is at the top of the new recipe card that Maria wrote right after dinner.  We even served it one more time this Summer when our guests from South Africa were here.  They thought it was quite tasty as well.  Maria just glows when she talks about creating the recipe and shows off the special recipe card she created!

I am truly committed to this teaching program and look forward to my continued learning both as a teacher candidate and in the UW classroom.  Despite my tremendous guilt over feeling like I am neglecting my children to follow my own personal dream, I feel that I have gained some valuable tools for becoming both a better teacher and a better parent.  I can hardly wait until I feel like I have time to put these tools to good use!

Children give me strength. Children, give me strength.

When I was in my late twenties and early thirties living on my own with my two cats, Cleocatra and Charlemagne, I was terrified of spiders.  If I saw one in my bedroom, I would send in the cats, close my bedroom door except for a small crack, and either hope for solid evidence that the spider was gone or just sleep on the couch.  Charlemagne (Charlie) seemed to know my discomfort and on more than one occasion would come out of the room with spider legs dangling out of his mouth and would then make a satisfying crunch.  I'm guessing that sometimes I simply imagined that he had dispatched of the spider so that I could sleep peacefully.  I assume that much of what I saw and heard was amplified by my fear and imagination.  I spent years yelping and running away at the sight of even the tiniest of these eight-legged critters.  Soon after my twins were born, I decided that I did not want my children to grow up with my fears.  I was going to have to get over it and learn how to live peacefully with spiders.  Strangely, once I had this mindset, it just happened.  As my children grew older I even stopped getting rid of the spiders.  If one of the girls found one in the bathroom, I said "What shall we name him?"  Now, every time there is a spider in residence in our guest bathroom, he receives the traditional name "Fred, the bathroom spider."  When they started picking out their own library books, we'd check out books about spiders, and read stories where spiders were the main characters.  We also took time to marvel at the amazing webs the spiders wove in out backyard.  We were completely fascinated by the number of teeny tiny little spiderlings would emerge out of the ball on the momma spider's web.

I also realized, when I flew cross-country by myself with my 3 year-old twins and 18 month old baby, that flying had lost some of its terror.  Every time I get on a plane with my children, I am either too busy attending to them or so focused on modeling the appropriate calm behavior, that I don't seem to have time to get overwhelmingly frightened.  I had noticed this once before when I flew on a business trip next to 2-3 year old boy and was so busy interacting with him that I forgot to get scared.  Now, I actually look out the window at the lovely scenery below.  I'm still nervous, especially when we hit turbulence, but I try to get some joy out of the experience as well.

Heights?  I'm still working on that one.  I won't go up the Space Needle or on the Great Wheel, but I will hike and ride ski lifts and get carefully close to the edge to enjoy a spectacular view.

Today, I was so lucky to sit next to Vidor.  Somehow having his young, inquisitive and impressionable mind so close to me, gave me strength.  I was quite nervous about handling and cutting into the cow eyeballs.  I also thought I would have a tremendously difficult time with actual human organs.  There was a perfect combination of events.  Our instructor said just the right words about honoring the lives that had given us the opportunity to explore and discover.  I had the realization that whatever feelings I had about doing this activity, it was going to happen, right in front of me, I might as well be an active part in it.  Then, right next to me, was this perfect reminder of all the children that I will teach in the future.  I would never want their fears to hold them back.  I couldn't let mine do the same.  I'm so glad that I actively participated.  Once we began, I started to realize I CAN do this.  Looking at all of the pieces and how the fit together and how they functioned just gave me an ever stronger, deeper appreciation of their elegant design.  What a gift.  Thank you, children, for helping me to grow.  I hope I can return the favor.

My own cheer squad

I'm still not entirely certain what my "fitness goal" is.  I'd like to lower my cholesterol.  That is always one of the top items on my list.  Well, I'd like to lower the LDLs and raise the HDLs.  I was glad when my HDLs were over 100.  That was a sign of a good balance for me.  I'd also like to feel more fit.  I'm finding that with my recent lack of activity and resulting weight gain, that all exercise is getting harder.  I'm rapidly losing my endurance, strength, flexibility, and speed.  I want to feel strong and healthy.  I want to set a great example for my children and show them how important it is to take care of your self, every aspect of your self.  I want to eat healthier meals.  I much prefer the satisfied and happy feeling that I have after eating something that is both delicious and healthy over the heavy, tired feeling I get when I eat something too processed, too salty, too sweet, and too fat.  I want to regain that time in the kitchen with my kids when we are cooking together and making up new recipes together.  That makes everyone happy.  I want to get really tired and really sweaty and really sore and still push my way through.  I've only done two days of the 6-week Fitness Challenge on my Wii, but my girls have been there with me both times.  They could have laughed at some of my efforts, but all three of them were there mimcing the personal trainer and cheering me on.  Great Job!  You can do it!  Maria gives me a countdown of how many reps I have left when I'm nearing the end of a really challenging exercise.  They even forgive me for yelling at the machine when I move out of the range of the sensor and the machine tells me I need to work on my technique.  They say "Mom, you swung the racket, but your avatar didn't, the machine doesn't know!"  One time I remembered to say, "oh well, a few extra reps will only make me stronger."  When Angela asked me if this exercise was burning my fat, I said "I just hope it's making all my muscles stronger, including my heart."  I was supposed to run tonight, it's a "rest" day on the fitness challenge.  However, I was a bit overwhelmed by preparing for the microteaching and book discussion tomorrow and being called on to lead and perform in a Taekwon Do demo tonight for Edmonds Night Out.  All of them are enjoyable and productive, but very time-consuming.  I will learn balance.  I have to.  I guess my goal is to simply finish this challenge they way it is laid out.  I will celebrate all of the "trophies" it awards me for meeting my goals but mostly I will be happier in my body again.

Differently . . .

Bear with me.  I have several different thoughts in my head and they haven't quite made their connection yet.

First, in The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, I just read the section where the author used the phrase "Differently Ethical".  It really did seem to fit so well.  The people that she had met seemed to be doing their best to live ethically within the framework of their culture.  There was no intent to deceive or abuse.  They had the best intentions for the children, family, and clan at heart.

Then I somehow jumped to standardized testing.  Hmmm . . . Something about marking all the right boxes.  And, as I type this, I'm sure my thinking was influenced by the description of the extremely creative crib sheets described in the book.  But it was more than that.  The phrase "Differently Intelligent" popped into my head.  One of the examples that Jason used in his class immediately cam to mind.  A middle school boy who had wonderful social skills, and tremendous knowledge of the natural world, but was still learning to write the alphabet.  I was also influenced by reading a blog post by one of my classmates from earlier in the year, "No scraps for that beast" by Orshi.I thought about how much we've discussed how standardized tests only measure a student's ability within a limited scope on a certain day.  Did they have a bad day?  Will they retain any of what is on the test?  Is it important? Will they learn how to solve problems or just memorize answers?

The idea of boxes and definitions persisted in my brain.  I then began thinking of contribution and inspiration.  What do I most admire?  How inspires me?  How do I measure their success?  The first few people who I aspire to be more like do not have an impressive net worth, if we measure worth financially.  But they are some of the richest people I know in relationships, love, discovery, compassion, and countless other ways.  They listen, they learn as much about the people they are helping as they can.  They don't run around distributing handouts.  They do work closely with people and find out they best way they can help them to help themselves.  They are not trying to move everyone out of their neighborhoods or change the lifestyles, they are simply helping them to live.

So, I still don't know where I'm going with all of this.  I feel like I need Jenn to hear my thoughts and say them back to me in her eloquent way so that I can nod and say "Yes, that is what I was thinking."

I think it still has to do with all the boxes.  Who designs the boxes?  What are they really for?  What catastrophe can be imposed on those who don't fit inside?  What if they don't even know they are supposed to fit in the box?  I had this image of a dark background and all of these different sized and shaped quadrilaterals all sort of layered and merged but still somehow retaining their own shape.  This must be Maria's abstract art and geometric shape influence.

I'm also picturing the rendering of synapses from one of the video's in Jean's class.  I feel like those electrical impulses in my brain are firing, but they are not quite reaching the intended destination.  I love that I feel like I have been exposed to so much over the past 5 weeks that my conscious mind is struggling to keep up.  I think that might be learning.  I can hardly wait for the next piece to fall into place and make all these connections complete.

Modeling Health & Fitness

My Fitness (and mental health) goal is to complete the EA Active Sports 30 Day Fitness Challenge on my Wii.  I know that I start the day more energized and in a better frame of mind if I exercise first.  I will not wait until I "have time".  This challenge will now be a priority.  In my head, I am making it a homework requirement.  That boosts my ability to make time for exercise above housework, marketing work, etc.  I am starting tomorrow morning.  Yes, Sunday, July 27th!  There are rest days built into the program.  I would like to use those days for running.  Running is not just exercise for me.  It's not mind-clearing either, instead it seems to be a time for a rush of ideas and mental organization.  I equate running with clear thinking. 

I will continue to log my food and will actually begin tracking my weight (ugh!).  But, I know that if I stick with it, I will have positive results.  The food logging is still making me think about everything I eat.  It doesn't always change what I eat.  Let's face it, I have to eat whatever is available when I have low blood sugar.  It's not really a time to assess the health benefits of the next thing that I pop into my mouth, except for "will this have enough carbs to keep me from passing out" and "does it have enough protein and fiber to keep be from crashing again in 20-30 minutes?"  Meals are much better and more balanced when I have time to plan, shop, and cook.  Those days will come again.

I'm looking forward to dusting off the Wii tomorrow and listening to my kids giggle while I try to reacquaint myself with the timing required to shoot baskets, perform jumps on the skateboard ramp, and whatever other fun challenges the game throws my way.

Feel the burn

More than the fire in my chest from pushing myself to run at my training pace from 2 years ago, more than the pain in my hip from an old running injury, I felt the burn of the glare I received from the other lady at the track today.  I could feel her disgust when after slowing down to find out why my daughter was running across the field to me crying, I responded with "Sweetheart, I'm sorry that I was running too fast for you, I didn't know you were trying to keep up with me.  Remember that we talked before I started my run.  You were going to play on the playground or run or ride bikes with your sisters."  To which she said "Mom, I just wanted to be by you."  Ouch.  And yet, I still said "Maria, I just need this one half hour out of the whole weekend to do something important for Mommy.  And that means that I'm going to try to run fast, Okay?"  She nodded and walked with her older sister to the playground.  Maria seemed to have instantly forgiven me.  The lady walking past apparently did not.  I started running again.  I was frustrated because I really had a great pace going and I had lost my momentum.  I had just passed that running wall and found my stride, when bam!, I had to stop.  I kept running, trying to regain my rhythm.  I looked back frequently to see what my girls were doing.  Every time I looked, I could feel my track mate's disgust at my selfish desire to run 3 miles without interruption.  I don't have any idea if the lady even noticed the interaction between my child and I.  It is possible that she had earphones on and hadn't heard a single syllable of our conversation.  It's possible that the disdain was purely imagined, due to the guilt I was feeling for not slowing down to run with my child.  But I still felt it while I was finishing my run.  I have to let go of what other people might think.  I have to be okay with the decisions I make for myself and my family.  I want to be healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally for me and for them.  Right now, regaining that healthy state requires me to run, to push myself.  Hopefully I am setting a good example of the importance of fitness and taking time for yourself.

I come from a mixed family

My father has been teaching Taekwon Do for over 40 years.  He is one of those people that nearly everyone wants to be around.  He just makes you feel good about yourself.  When I read the excerpt from Mindset by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., I realized that my dad is our John Wooden.  He has high expectations for all of his students.  He does not expect perfection from anyone, but he does expect your best effort.  He has always recognized that "best effort" is as individual as the student.  He tells his students that our competitions are opportunities to improve, any trophies that you may take home are simply a bonus.  When we are in class he encourages everyone to work hard, but reminds them that they are not in the class to impress him, they are there to impress themselves.  His attitude and confidence in all of his students makes them all want to work harder and be better.

My mother has always told us that we can do anything that we put our mind to.  We just have to work hard enough.  Despite her best intentions and her constant attempts to motivate us to, I would have to place her in the fixed mindset category.  My most distinct memories of advice from my mother are specific references to people who did something better than me, if I worked harder I could be more like them.  So, I was left with the feeling that I was working pretty hard, and doing very well, but it was never quite enough.  Don't get me wrong, I don't feel that I am scarred or damaged in any way.  I have been instilled will a very strong work ethic and I truly appreciate that.

I was introduced to this concept in my first Math for Elementary Teachers course.  Our professor warned us against telling our students how smart they were, especially girls.  He wanted us to remember to recognize hard work.  Students who found math relatively easy in their early grades and were told how smart they were would start to feel that they were not smart enough when the math started to get more complicated.  I really appreciated having this theory expanded in the Mindset reading. 

I am beginning to see some of the growth mindset in myself, finally.  Particularly with regard to Art.  I have moved from feeling that I have not an artistic bone in my body to believing that I am capable, with a willingness to learn and a lot (I MEAN A LOT!) of practice.  The New Learning project assigned my Jean Eisele was so important for me.  Even in only a few weeks I realized that I was capable of doing something that I had considered near impossible before.  I couldn't expect myself to be Picasso at first, or ever, for that matter.  But, I could learn how to draw.  It was a perfect lead in to the Art course that we are now taking with Maria.  I try to approach each new project thinking, "I can do this", no one is expecting greatness, they are expecting me to make an effort and learn something.  I still find myself feeling somewhat satisfied with my creations and then looking around and seeing my classmates work and thinking "SHOOT!"  I am so impressed at what they have done.  I feel like mine just pales in comparison.  They are black belts in Art and I am simply a beginner.  I will not diminish their work by saying "Well, they have natural talent.  It just comes easy to them".  I have heard that enough in my 40+ years of Taekwon Do to know how utterly frustrating that can be.

A list of activities does not a lesson plan make

Today was one of those AHA! days for me.  The ideas seemed so obvious, and yet they had not occurred to me before.  There have been so many days over the last four years of teaching Sunday School where I wondered what the kids had learned in the short 55 minutes they spent with me.  I had written a lesson plan, I read all of the material, I tried to provide several opportunities for interaction, allowing the children to share their personal connections to the theme for the day.  And yet, when they left, I felt something had been missing.  What had I wanted them to learn?  And there it is, the answer.  I had not set clear, simple expectations of what I wanted them to learn/experience/discover.  My "lesson plan" was written from my point of view, the teacher.  It was simply a list of all of the activities from my perspective.  I was thorough and listed what I would read, all of the materials needed for the crafts, what songs I would sing, what I needed the volunteers to do to ensure smooth transitions between activities, but there were no clear learning objectives for the children.  AHA!

I did have a moment where I wondered if what we were trying to accomplish meshed with the idea of creating objectives that were less task oriented and more geared toward discovery and exploration.  But, there is no conflict.  It is a matter of simplification, breaking the goals down in to singular expectations. describing how the objectives would be assessed, and how to gather evidence that the objectives have been met.  The idea seems so straightforward, so simple.  The execution, well that remains to be seen.

Inspiration or just a kick in the . . .

I have been very frustrated by my change in lifestyle since I went back to school.  I hardly exercise.  I average less than 6 hours of sleep every night. I have lost control of my blood sugar because I'm eating prepared food or whatever is fastest out of the fridge.  I'm used to a regular routine of Taekwon Do, running, and some yoga.  Usually, I cook all of my food from scratch so I know exactly what I'm eating and I can be certain that my family is getting balanced meals.  When life is particularly stressful I have always had the outlet of a really intense workout where I get to beat up a bunch of imaginary bad guys.  That is my stress management.  When I am frustrated I fall back on two things, Taekwon Do and cooking.  Those are two things that I know I can do well.  Right now, during one of the more stressful times of my life, at least as far as time management is concerned, I feel like I can't fall back on either of them.  Since I started this journey to become I teacher, I have gained the "Freshman 15".  Something has to change.  In addition to gaining weight, when I don't have regular exercise I am very cranky, depressed and anxious.  My three children and my husband are not particularly fond of this change in my attitude.  SOMETHING has to CHANGE.

As hard as it is to log food, not because of the work involved, but because of the honesty, this is a great project for me.  I think it is just exactly the proverbial kick in the . . . that I need.  I am now determined to carve out time to exercise.  I know that getting that oxygen pumped to my brain will help me to retain more of what I read, sleep better, smile more, and quite literally, be lighter on my feet.  That will be great for increasing the height of my jumping kicks!  Because of the concept mapping that we did today in class, I was reminded of the importance of not just taking time, but making time, to take care of myself.  I feel a little less guilty about wanting to go for a run instead of washing the dishes.  Off I go.

Teaching is like . . .

A maturing tree with deep, deep roots

The students with their bright, shiny faces, their inquisitive nature, and their eagerness to learn are looking to us to nurture them and promote future healthy, well-rounded growth.  We will be most successful if we remember to look below the surface and take care of the whole student.  Their roots were developed long before they arrived in our classroom.  We need to remember that those roots are the source of their strength, what literally holds them up.  The student’s roots are hidden to us; we will have to ask them to share them with us and with the rest of the class.  Think about what a strong forest we would have with all of those intertwined roots.

The first year teacher, maybe feeling more like a sapling than a tree, will still have that strong base from their teaching education and their student teaching experiences.  If they look for them, they will find supports to hold them up in strong winds within their cohort, their new school, or maybe even in a teacher forum online.  They will be able to reach down into their own root system to hopefully find shared experiences with their students.  As they learn from their students, their successes and failures, their continued research for better curriculum and better classroom projects, and their constant conversations with their peers, the branches will grow stronger and their leaves will become abundant.

The classroom will only provide a good growing environment if the teacher(s) and the students work together to make it rich with experience and safe for everyone.  Imagine how strong and comfortable that tree would be with everyone working to keep it alive.  I can just see groups of children feeling free to explore; some sitting in the shade reading, some digging in the dirt and discovering what critters live there, some trying to determine how many leaves there are without having to count them all, some high in the branches making their own world of castles or spaceships, and some lying in the dappled sunlight below the tree, dreaming and imagining the next big thing that will change life as we know it.

One Hour

I was inspired by the one minute and 20 seconds that was “1000 hours” from Seth Godin’s Stop Stealing Dreams.  That one small chapter made me reflect on my own life and my own proclaimed love of learning.  What more can I be doing to really learn something new each day.  Something that is worthwhile and might possibly make me a better person, at the very least, a better educated one.  I realized that I was already making an attempt to do this for my children.  On our drive from school to dance lessons I asked them to think silently about inventions.  If they could invent one thing that could help one person or maybe everyone to have a better life, what would it be?  I told them that a better life could be had by helping their person(s) do something that they needed to do every day.  It could be simply bringing a little more happiness into their person(s) life.  My six-year-old immediately wanted to share her idea.  I very much wanted to let her blurt it out, but encouraged her to just keep thinking about it silently.  I promised that when we arrived at dance class she could share her idea in my ear.  I know this quiet reflection time is necessary for my oldest daughter.  It’s just the way she works.  I explained that sometimes sharing her ideas out loud could narrow what her sisters might be imagining.  She said, “Okay, but listening to my sisters usually just makes me think of even more things”.  My second daughter asked if she could use sticks.  I told her that they could use any materials they could think of, even things that didn’t exist.  In a burst of excitement, she announced that she was making a magic broom.  I heard a sigh from my quiet girl and asked my magic broom maker if she could keep thinking silently about how she would make it and what it would do.  I quickly realized that I should have let them get out their little notebooks so they could jot down their ideas and make drawings.  How could I accommodate my three very different girls to express their ideas without trampling over one another?  Oh well, this wasn’t a lesson plan.  I was just trying to spark some creativity in my girls. 

As soon as we walked into the dressing room at the dance school, my youngest daughter came over and whispered in my ear that she was going to “make a wheelchair that had arms for people to pick stuff up who couldn’t pick stuff up with their own arms”.  I was touched by her thoughtfulness, but not surprised.  I can’t wait to see her ideas written out and her drawings!  When we arrived at home, my second daughter rushed through her after school chores so she could start drawing a picture of her magic broom.  So far, it looks very complicated.  She is labeling the different parts and describing the materials that will be used.  As soon as my oldest daughter and I were alone in the kitchen together, she came over and started describing a doll that would be made out of blue flowers and tied with a special grass.  I can’t even begin to imagine what she has pictured in her mind, but I am certain that it is truly beautiful.  Nothing concrete came from this little activity.  It was just meant to be thinking for thinking’s sake.  It was meant to allow them to be creative with no boundaries.  I think we are off to an excellent start.  Thinking back on that time earlier today I realized that maybe the most important thing I can do right now  is to spend my hour per day of learning something new, something worthwhile, learning excitement, creativity, and unlimited imagination from my children.

Communities Don't Just Happen

The Sapon-Shevin reading was full of wonderful examples of how to successfully build a community.  I particularly appreciated the reminder that the classroom community would not just happen on its own.  It has to be a full team effort.  Everyone in the community must feel like their input is needed and valued.  The teacher must, of course, encourage the students to determine what they will need from one another in order to feel that they are in a safe environment and can contribute freely.  They must somehow eliminate the fear that “someone won’t like my idea” or “they’ll think I’m dumb”.  It won’t happen overnight.  The students will have to build their trust in one another.  I have witnessed that same type of environment that was mentioned in the reading where a student who is struggling with a concept need only announce it and they would immediately receive help from several classmates.  There is a wonderful collaborative atmosphere at each of the table groups during the volunteer rotations that I attend.  I frequently hear the words “turn to your neighbor and explain what you learned/discovered/found”.  The teacher has made the children feel that what they have to say is very important; important enough to share with the other students.  The teacher is also very aware of who has and who has not had a chance to participate.  She makes sure that every child has a chance to contribute, not in every lesson, but enough that no single student seems singled out as “the one with all of the answers”.  She is also very careful with her language when requesting feedback regarding anything a student has shared with the class.  She does not simply ask for comments, but specifically says “we have time for three compliments or questions” and allows the student to choose which students will provide that feedback.  She is very aware of when students talk over someone who is particularly quiet.  She does not raise her voice, she simply says something to the effect “Oh, I’m very interested in what Johnny has to say, I’ll just wait until it is quiet so that I can hear him.”  There are constant subtle reminders that everyone should have a voice and that everyone has an idea worth hearing.

It then made complete sense, in the Greene reading, to tie the teaching of arts in the classroom to the ability to create a community.  If we strip away all of the activities that allow for self-expression, how will the children learn more about themselves.  If we do not allow them to use their imagination, how will they put themselves “in each other’s shoes” and gain deeper understanding of each other.  If a student does not have the experience of visiting other worlds, worlds completely unlike their own, how will they be able to conceive that one of their classmates might have a completely different life outside of school than their own?  Imagine how many more connections the children might be able to make with one another if their classroom library was rich with stories from various cultures.  What a wonderful experience to read a story and then have a student in their very own classroom be able to share a real life experience.  Just like finding out that hippos sweat a pink, oily substance or that the Surinam Toad actually carries her eggs inside the skin of her back until they pop out as froglets; they may find out something about a classmate’s heritage that even their wildest imagination would not have considered.