This week I had the opportunity to sit in on several parent-teacher conferences. I started the week with my own children's conferences and then the next day moved to the other side of the table. As a parent, I am still conscious of the effect that sitting across from the teacher has on me. I have always needed their acceptance, both as a student and as a parent. I have to imagine that I am not the only one who is under this powerful spell.
It was so valuable to have conversations with my mentors about how vital these parent conversations are to them. It is apparent that they want to be as prepared as possible for these important meetings. I had not considered the number of extra hours the teachers put in at home and in the classroom to prepare for each conference. They do not just grab whatever evidence is convenient. They have been collecting it since the first day. They are careful about what they choose as an example of the progress that each student has made. One of my mentors sends home a weekly report of the students work in class, their behavior in class, and the homework that has been returned. This weekly report is meant to be delivered to the parent, signed, and returned to the classroom. It is a powerful tool. The parents are not taken by surprise when they come to their conference, they've seen the reports every week since the beginning of school. The teacher shows them examples of the type of work that is completed in class each week and gives them an example of the daily and weekly schedule so that they have no questions about what is expected of their child during the school day. This weekly report also gives the teacher a great starting point for a discussion on schoolwork routines at home. 4th grade is a pivotal year for homework. The students are now exploring new ideas at home and performing research. They are no longer simply reviewing concepts that were already covered in class. They are extending their knowledge. The teacher emphasizes how important it is to develop strong study habits THIS year as the homework will only continue to be more challenging as they move closer to middle school. The teacher is working hard to set the student and their family on a course for success.
The teacher thinks so carefully about the conversation they will have with each family. Some topics that they need to talk about are very sensitive. They take a careful approach. They emphasize to the parents that this is a relationship where we are all working together. And they really mean it. They are doing their best to be a really strong part of the team. The teachers also take this opportunity to listen to the families. The more they know about their student, the better they will understand how to approach their education.
After having this experience, I wonder how I will feel next year when I am on the parent side of the table again. I will have a better understanding of how much the teacher has invested in the conversation. I will know that they are incredibly interested in the future of my children and they are feeling just a bit nervous about the impression that they will make on me.
It was very interesting being at the conferences last week, after spending years on the other side of the table. I also have a better insight into the students after meeting the parents. My CT said conferences are usually pretty good and pretty easy, although there were a couple that were very difficult. I worry about my ability to have some of those difficult conversations with parents. I think the most important message I can send is that we both, the parents and I, want what is best for their child, but we may be getting there in different ways.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. I really appreciate the reminder that we have different perspectives and that we may have different approaches to helping the child(ren). We have to remember that the parents ideas about what is best for their child(ren) may differ from ours. We need to respect what the parents are striving for if we are going to be able to truly work as a team.
DeleteI also went to my teacher conferences last week and this was a really valuable experience. I don't have children so I have never witnessed a conference before and I honestly had no idea what to expect. It was very interesting seeing how both of my teachers approached the conferences because they actually were very different. One only showed them recent scores on math assessments but for the rest just spoke about the child by asking the parent questions. She also talked about the plans for the rest of the year and mentioned a few little concerns here and there, but was actually not basing most of her conferences on assessment, but more on getting to know the family. The second teacher was actually almost all about assessment and showed things from throughout the year that it was clear she had been collecting from day one, which sounds more like the experience you had. It was surprising to see two different approaches and in addition to what I described one teacher also had the students present, while the other did not. It makes me wonder what the best approach is, or if that is just something you figure out as you go along.
ReplyDeleteI really identify with the emotions that swirl around parent teacher conferences. As a parent they were always difficult for me, for lots of reasons. At the same time, they often felt a little pointless. I was always very involved with my kids' academic progress so there was often not a lot of new information for me. Since I was with them as they did homework every night, I knew what they were doing and how well they were doing it. I came in with different concerns, such as "how is my child doing socially?", or "how is their behavior?" "what things do they enjoy most at school?" Teachers often couldn't answer these questions or would become uncomfortable and twitchy. From this response I would interpret the answers to my questions weren't ones I wanted to hear. I guess I was a "difficult parent". I hope I will be ready for parents like me as a teacher. At least I will have some empathy for them!
ReplyDeleteThis post says what I was trying to say only much better!
ReplyDeletehttp://leadingmotivatedlearners.blogspot.com/2014/11/dear-teacher.html?spref=tw